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Author: spab Subject: .
spab
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Registered: 07-02-2010
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posted on 07-02-2010 at 08:38 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
blind sided

At work on a slow day just felt the need to vent...

Three weeks ago my wife tells me she's unhappy and thinking divorce is a possibility. To say I was caught off guard is an understatement, I was speechless. We don't fight life seemed to be going alright, maybe I'm not as affectionate as I could be towards her but after eight years together you fall into auto pilot. We talk I say I'll pay attention more to the little things, for about a week things look like they are ok. The past two weeks it has gone downhill, still not fighting but being with someone that clearly doesn't want to be with you anymore is just shitty. Running the gambit of emotions here, from mad, sad to acceptance...found myself looking around the house at the stuff I want this weekend...lol...ah fuck.

I'm sure I'm not blameless in this mess, but she says this has been going on for about a year now and has never brought it up because it was hard. Jesus now I'm paying for her not wanting to hurt my feelings or make me feel uncomfortable by losing my marriage, my life, and not sure at what level my kids. How can I not be mad when I felt nothing was wrong and clearly she felt the opposite? I've got us signed up for counseling and she has agreed but the lack of enthusiasm, or lack of interest in her voice doesn't fill me with optimism. It hasn't even been a month yet so to say it's over might be a bit early, but sure feels like she's checked out.

We have two young kids, 3.5 and 1.5 and the idea of someone else fathering my kids just does not sit well with me on any level. I don't want to lose my wife but if I'm 100% honest the idea of someone else "assisting" with the fathering of my kids kills me.

Oddly enough my parents got divorced when my brother and I were almost the exact same age. So I know what living with divorced parents is like and it's just a pain in the ass for the kids. Seems like every time you have to visit the one parent there is some event you have to miss and you start to hate going to visit that parent...at least that's the way I remember it being for us, as our Dad lived in another city.

That's my vent...done.


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