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hopefulsuicide
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 02-11-2007 Location: England
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posted on 02-11-2007 at 15:13 |
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Alot of questions, if you can answer any i'd be grateful
Okay, i'm a 19 year old virgin, and if i were sixteen then it'd be fine to just figure these things out as i go along, but i dont want my first partner to think im clueless and immature, so i'd like to know everything i don't.
1) is using lube really acceptable. none of my friends use it, and the only time anyone every talked about a girl who had to use it it was in a negative way.
i'm not sure whether i'll ever need to use it. I am quite tight, never used a tampon, i can only seem to put one finger inside myself and even then it hurts, but i have had a guy fit two in and it was painful but i got a bit of pleasure out of it
i'm thinking about getting a small vibrator in order to stretch it a bit and get used to stimulation around my vagina. I've masturbated since 13 but its always been clitoral masturbation (although it does very nicely lead to a good orgasm)
I am a little paranoid about it not fitting. I mean at 19 my first time is going to be awkard enough without adding other problems.
2) Can anyone give me exact directions of how to give a blow job. I've given hand jobs but thats all.
What do you do about teeth? are you supposed to rub it with your tongue or just your lips? do guys like to be bitten a little? most of the ones ive asked say its a turn off. Will he expect me to take it all in? Is it better if i use my hand as well. Are you actually supposed to suck and blow or just move your mouth up and down?
3) i know that mostly this comes natural, and has alot to do with pelvic movement, but is there much a women can do to help during missionary sex. And is missionary the best way for a first timer whos quite tight or would i be better off on top... i kinda think i'll be too self conscious to have my muscles relax if im on top
4) i've read alot of things that say that guys don't get put off by abnormally shaped lips and stuff, but most of the guys i chat too dont seem to understand. My lips surrounding my pee hole are a little strange. One is fine, the other is really big. When i told my mum about it she made me go to the doctor and ask them about it and she's not a prude about sex. It made me wonder if it's something i should worry about. I even think i might have it made smaller when im older and have the money (designer vaginas lol)
5) Is it supposed to be lumpy inside the vagina? I mean when i put my finger inside myself its like there is a bunch of tumas up there... thats pretty dramatic, but there seems to be alot of obstacles in the way, and i always thought the canal was pretty clear. Then again the guy who got his fingers in never found anything abnormal with it (and i know cause i asked him later on if he thought i was too tight or anything and he said no... and yes i am a very open person, im not too scared, plus a little alchohol helps when asking questions like that).
I do get quite paranoid about it though.
6) i am incredibly wet all the time. My discharge always leaves white/yellowish marks on my underwear. at the moment its started smelling horrible, so if it hasnt stopped in a few days im gonna get it checked out.
The problem is when i masturbate with my clit i find i go dry around my vagina. Is this a bad sign. Cause i thought you were supposed to get more wet when you were aroused. I suppose it might just be because its being aired out (for a better word). It does make me think that maybe i shud reduce foreplay to a minimum when i try for the first time. I mean im already wet so i may not need lube, but if i dry out during oral i will do.
7) is a g spot orgasm really different from a clit orgasm? thats something i'm just curious about really.
thanks, i think ive thought of everything, but i may come back with more. Sorry this is such a long post, just easier than splitting it all up.
cheers x
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Blank_Wall
Member
Posts: 43
Registered: 02-09-2007 Location: Houston, TX
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posted on 02-12-2007 at 00:20 |
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WATCH OUT FOR CANCER!
Hi Hope;
What is the reason for calling yourself “HopefulSuicide”?
I’m going to respond on the chance that this is not a troll ...
##################################################################################
'Okay, i'm a 19 year old virgin, and if i were sixteen then it'd be fine to just figure these things out as i go along, but i dont want my first partner to think im clueless and immature, so i'd like to know everything i don't.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Some guys might think that being “clueless and immature” would be a turn-on.
Personally, I would prefer that to someone who is “experienced” ... but that is just me.
##################################################################################
1) is using lube really acceptable. none of my friends use it, and the only time anyone every talked about a girl who had to use it it was in a negative way.
i'm not sure whether i'll ever need to use it. I am quite tight, never used a tampon, i can only seem to put one finger inside myself and even then it hurts, but i have had a guy fit two in and it was painful but i got a bit of pleasure out of it
i'm thinking about getting a small vibrator in order to stretch it a bit and get used to stimulation around my vagina. I've masturbated since 13 but its always been clitoral masturbation (although it does very nicely lead to a good orgasm)
I am a little paranoid about it not fitting. I mean at 19 my first time is going to be awkard enough without adding other problems.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Most “sex-perts” that I’ve read suggest that lube is always something that should
be kept on-hand. If you’re tight, then it would be best to be prepared for
what could be a painful experience, where lubricant could make things go
more smoothly.
Anyone who thinks of lubricant in a “negative way” is an idiot ... pay no attention to them.
##################################################################################
2) Can anyone give me exact directions of how to give a blow job. I've given hand jobs but thats all.
What do you do about teeth? are you supposed to rub it with your tongue or just your lips? do guys like to be bitten a little? most of the ones ive asked say its a turn off. Will he expect me to take it all in? Is it better if i use my hand as well. Are you actually supposed to suck and blow or just move your mouth up and down?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I’ve read that the best thing to do is to lick it like an ice-cream cone.
This is probably not a very good forum in which to ask questions like that
... there aren’t very many people who post here that have much in the way of experience
... and it becomes a case of the “blind leading the blind.”
##################################################################################
3) i know that mostly this comes natural, and has alot to do with pelvic movement, but is there much a women can do to help during missionary sex. And is missionary the best way for a first timer whos quite tight or would i be better off on top... i kinda think i'll be too self conscious to have my muscles relax if im on top
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
If you’re tight, then being on top would put you in position where you would be
in control of the “action”
... and you could proceed at your own pace if penetration were to become painful
... and the guy should be understanding of that.
##################################################################################
4) i've read alot of things that say that guys don't get put off by abnormally shaped lips and stuff, but most of the guys i chat too dont seem to understand. My lips surrounding my pee hole are a little strange. One is fine, the other is really big. When i told my mum about it she made me go to the doctor and ask them about it and she's not a prude about sex. It made me wonder if it's something i should worry about. I even think i might have it made smaller when im older and have the money (designer vaginas lol)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
If you’re an attractive girl overall, most guys should not care about the size
of your lips. I know that if it were me, I wouldn’t.
##################################################################################
5) Is it supposed to be lumpy inside the vagina? I mean when i put my finger inside myself its like there is a bunch of tumas up there... thats pretty dramatic, but there seems to be alot of obstacles in the way, and i always thought the canal was pretty clear. Then again the guy who got his fingers in never found anything abnormal with it (and i know cause i asked him later on if he thought i was too tight or anything and he said no... and yes i am a very open person, im not too scared, plus a little alchohol helps when asking questions like that).
I do get quite paranoid about it though.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Sometimes, a little paranoia can be good for you.
I think you should see a gynecologist ASAP.
My mother died of ovarian cancer, after it was mis-diagnosed by an idiot of a doctor
for about a year (his “diagnosis” was irritable bowel syndrome). He kept fiddling
with my mother’s diet, while tumors were developing all over her GI tract. By the time
someone figured out what the real problem was, it was too late ... and the disease
had spread to the point that she had no viable treatment options. I went through
several months of HELL while she gradually died.
The main reason why I wanted to respond to this post was to address this question
in particular: Some forms of cancer in the female organs are very difficult to detect,
often mis-diagnosed for something else, and by the time it is detected,
it has progressed to the point that it’s not usually treatable. I learned that
the hard way. :-(
WATCH OUT FOR OVARIAN CANCER.
##################################################################################
6) i am incredibly wet all the time. My discharge always leaves white/yellowish marks on my underwear. at the moment its started smelling horrible, so if it hasnt stopped in a few days im gonna get it checked out.
The problem is when i masturbate with my clit i find i go dry around my vagina. Is this a bad sign. Cause i thought you were supposed to get more wet when you were aroused. I suppose it might just be because its being aired out (for a better word). It does make me think that maybe i shud reduce foreplay to a minimum when i try for the first time. I mean im already wet so i may not need lube, but if i dry out during oral i will do.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
This is another reason why you should see a gynecologist ASAP ... and use plenty of lube.
##################################################################################
7) is a g spot orgasm really different from a clit orgasm? thats something i'm just curious about really.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
That is a question that I’ll have to defer to someone else: I’m a guy, and I have
no clue. It probably varies for each individual.
##################################################################################
thanks, i think ive thought of everything, but i may come back with more. Sorry this is such a long post, just easier than splitting it all up.
cheers x
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Don’t apologize ... that’s what this forum is for ... though I think that you’d
get better responses in a forum that is dedicated to sexual issues. This forum
is really intended for people who intend to remain celibate, either until they
enter into a committed relationship, or as it relates to dealing with issues
pertaining to celibacy for the duration of a lifetime. Given the very light
participation, it’s apparent enough that we are in a very small minority.
I Googled on “forum sex advice” and got 1.6 million hits.
The first 4 look promising:
http://www.allsexadvice.com/
http://members.lovingyou.com/
http://www.sexinfo101.com/
http://www.sexualforums.com/talk/forumdisplay.php?f=11
Good luck.
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moonlite
Member
Posts: 93
Registered: 07-20-2005 Location:
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posted on 02-13-2007 at 14:59 |
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Blank wall
You seem like a sensible person which is someehast unusual for this forum. I think you can be a lot of help tpo others. Look at my previous posts to who I am and what i am interested in. i suppose you are also a virgin
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Blank_Wall
Member
Posts: 43
Registered: 02-09-2007 Location: Houston, TX
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posted on 02-14-2007 at 22:10 |
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response to moonlite
'You seem like a sensible person which is someehast unusual for this forum.’
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I don’t know what is “usual” for this forum, as it would seem that there isn’t much
activity here. I’ve noticed that there are over 3200 members, yet not many posts,
which leads me to wonder: Where did everybody go?
###################################################################################
‘ I think you can be a lot of help tpo others.’
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
... or be a major pain in the brain.
In most every other forum that I’ve posted to for any significant period of time,
it usually becomes the case that I tend to piss people off. I tend to be somewhat
controversial and provocative for my opinions and suggestions. I state what I mean,
without sugar-coating anything, or pulling any punches, and some people get bent
out of shape over some of the things that I write.
###################################################################################
‘ Look at my previous posts to who I am and what i am interested in.’
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I’ve read some of them, and it would seem that you have a lot of curiosity about sex.
I would suggest that you spend some time in those forums that I mentioned before,
as this forum doesn’t have the experiential background to provide much in the way
of a resource.
You mentioned that you’re not very attractive. What is wrong with your physical appearance?
Are you over-weight?
###################################################################################
‘ i suppose you are also a virgin'
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Yes, I’m a virgin, and about as much of a virgin as a guy could be.
You name it, I haven’t done it (with the exception of masturbation).
My situation isn’t the result of any sort of “religious conviction”, but a matter
of personal principle. I don’t make any distinction between religion and superstition,
but I won’t denigrate someone else’s beliefs, just so long as they don’t try to impose
their beliefs on me.
I’ve remained alone mainly due to my own personal defects and deficiencies,
which has left me as someone who is unable to function within close relationships,
with women or otherwise. It isn’t fear that impedes me, but an inability to interact.
I’ve always been able to look attractive girls in the eyes, without feeling any
compulsion to flee in terror, but I can’t interact with them in anything other than
a very brief superficial encounter. I’ve always suspected that I might have high-functional
autism ... Asperger’s Syndrome ... perhaps even schizoid personality disorder.
I’ve never had a professional evaluation, but I might get one at some point
to either confirm or refute my suspicions.
Whatever the case may be, my basic problem is my personality: I don’t have one.
I’m very much like a ... Blank_Wall.
I also have a problem with having intimate contact with someone that I have not
developed an affection for. I’d no more have casual sex with a girl that I’ve not
gotten to know very well than I would have sex with a man ... or a farm animal.
I place a high value upon the act of sex, as I have decided to GIVE it that value.
If I were to ever actually have sex, I would want it to be with only one girl
in my lifetime ... FOR a lifetime ... and I would want it to be the same with her
as it is for myself. I find it somewhat dismaying and depressing that most people
have sex for no other reason than it feels good ... “sex is just sex” ... of no real
value or significance ... and I prefer to think of myself as having motivational
influences and behavioral tendencies above that of animals ... as I believe that
this is one of the main things that separates us from animals ... that we are
capable of valuing intimacy as being something of great significance ... and we hold
it to be something too significant to be devalued by impulsive need gratification
... or at least we should.
... and there is also the more practical consideration of STD’s ... HIV ... AIDS.
I KNOW that I’m disease-free (in that regard), and I would want the same of any
relationship partner that I might consider for a relationship. Prostitutes are
definitely not a consideration ... even if someone else were to pay for one.
I am something more than an animal, and I will try to behave as such, and I refuse to
engage in anything as intimate as sex with anyone who is not significant to me
... it would only take place within the context of a lifetime commitment.
My main problem is that it’s extremely unlikely that I’ll ever find someone that
would consider me to be someone significant to them.
... but I can accept that.
I am a high-level introvert ... someone who never gets lonely. If I never do find
someone that I would consider to be significant to me, as well as someone who
would consider me to be someone significant to them as well, then I can live with that.
I’ve become someone who has learned how to survive in a solitary lifestyle, and can
appreciate the advantages of being alone ... and the prospect of dying alone
... of dying a virgin ... is something that I no longer perceive to be a problem.
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